Where Art Thou God?

I’m searching for God, I’ll admit it. He seems lost to me. Some kind of vague memory that disappeared into a form of darkness. Breaking away from my former life in Christian fundamentalism was at its best the healthiest decision – one that to this day I don’t regret – but it also left an…

Responsibility of the Religious

Originally posted on The Vulnerability Project:
How do we hold the powerful accountable? In the current climate of sexual assault revelations, one particular story caught my eye.  Danny Ray Johnson, a pastor and a legislator from Kentucky died by suicide when allegations of sexual assault became public from 2012. Following up with the post I…

Trauma Bonding- The Church and the People

Originally posted on The Vulnerability Project:
When one unpacks RTS, abuse is central to the conversation.  Spiritual trauma is insipid because the abuse involves so many facets of the person.  Let’s start a conversation about the aspects of abuse that the church is a part of. Psychological Abuse– Church leaders depend on dependence.  By letting…

I’m Not Third (Anymore)

Originally posted on The Vulnerability Project:
? Back in the late 90’s the silicone bracelets were making their debut as the “it” thing, post-WWJD lanyards.  They started with the large causes, but then filtered down to the church, not only as the WWJD style wording but the latest lingo; “I’m Third.” The “I’m Third” movement started as…

4-24-16: These Things Fade

Slowly forgetting, but surely Were they blue or green Grey blue I’ll always remember But mostly the meaning you give to a song Your scent Or what exactly it was you said These things fade And I could try to recall But these are vague Your kiss, the taste The pressure of your embrace I…

4-5-16: And That Is Enough

I was taught that it was wrong to cuss, But sometimes there is no other word to describe – And concentration brings conformity – That’s what you taught me. Many things you taught me, But mostly that I am not enough. “Damn you!” I screamed on Demonbreun bridge when you acted like a spoiled child….

The Prophecy of Prejudice

For many years, I had anticipated with anxiety last Friday’s presidential announcement that Jerusalem would finally be recognized as the capital of Israel, of God’s Chosen People. I felt fear and panic whenever I saw something that I had been told meant a prophecy was being fulfilled, and was leading our world closer to its…

You Watched Me Suffer

Originally posted on Katie Pridgen:
One thing I’ve noticed about abusers is they rarely function in a vacuum. Where there is a chronic abuser, there will be enablers. I once read the account of a young woman who grew up in an abusive home. Everyone knew her father was violent. The clerk at the small…

Independence Day

Six years ago today, I lifted my three sleepy children into their car seats, hastily threw our belongings into trash bags, and shut the door on my abuser forever. I had 1,041 miles to drive. I weighed 105 pounds. I had no job and no home. I was scared to death. But I knew the…

Today Is Her Birthday.

Today is her birthday. February 7th. She does not know I am writing this. She probably does not even know I exist. Though there are plenty of clues. I am like a ghost. Following and haunting, sight unseen. She is like a mirage. But she is real. She is a reality I cannot accept. And…